The Brain OS: Understanding the Code Behind Our Emotions
Reality - A Snapshot of the Past
What we call reality is a snapshot of our external environment presented to us in a way that would make sense to us by our brains.
Our senses gather data from our surroundings and our brains create snapshot of whatever it is out there so it becomes in here, i.e. our experience.
Our experience is one hundred percent creation of our brain but unfortunately we don't have much control over what we experience because our brain is autonomous for the most part. From the moment we are born our brains are shaped from the input received from environment like family, friends, culture etc.
By the time we are adult what we accept to be "our reality" is the output of hundreds of programs playing in a loop similar to the programs that run on a Windows or Mac operating system.
Behavioral Patterns: Programs We Didn't Choose
For example, looking at my life I have noticed that the way I behave in close relationships is how people closest to me behaved when I was a child. I notice the following programs or patterns:
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My mind holds expectations from my near and dear ones (Program 1)
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My mind expects these expectations to be fulfilled without it having to express them. (Program 2)
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My mind generates resentment when these expectations are not fulfilled. (Program 3)
In the above example "My mind" can be replaced by I because what we have come to understand as "I" is the cumulative output of hundreds of programs repeating themselves based on external stimulus.
I have often felt helpless as these programs that were not my choosing made me behave that is not always in my best interest. I wish I could override these programs when they start meddling with my life but a lot of processing power of our brain is invested into these programs that to conquer them by pure will is futile.
I think partly we can take it easy by accepting that we are not to be blamed for these programs.
Imagine on Thanksgiving you bought a new laptop and as soon as you powered it you notice it is infected with malware. I doubt you are going to blame yourself for this incident. You did not know what was in the package until you opened it. You will probably power off the machine and next day take it back to the dealer and get it replaced or get your money back.
But we are not so forgiving to our mind when we notice a program we don't like (like procrastination, jealously etc). Since there is no return or exchange warranty on our brain we do the next thing possible — we try to ignore it. But there is only for so long we can run from ourselves. Eventually we get tired or bored of external distractions we have been using to avoid feelings associated with unwanted programs we have come to associate with. What follows is we become self critical for having the thoughts and feelings which we have no control over.
We end up using the flight or fight mechanism against ourselves the same way our ancestors used it against the predators of the wild.
The worst part is we are not even aware of this self sabotage as this fight or flight loop is also running in our subconscious.
Breaking the Loop
Is there a way to spiral out of this self sustaining cycle of emotions where one emotion triggers the other. The answer is yes and you are doing it right now.
In my own life I have noticed that just an understanding of the mechanism behind a behavior helps me break out of that behavior just like magic. Once I become aware of a pattern I no longer associate with that pattern. That changes the language I use to describe my inner state when that patten occurs.
So when I experience jealousy, instead of saying "I am feeling jealous" , I can say that "Oh! So this is how the feeling of jealousy arises within me from these external stimuli.". Now I am free not to act on the feeling of jealousy. Now I can actually share this state with anyone without feeling guilt or anger as I know that the factors that caused me to feel that way were not of my choosing.
What is of my choosing is my response towards my feeling state. Instead of the default flight and fight response now I have a much wider selection of responses at my disposal. I can chose to sit quietly and contemplate. I can ignore it and move on. Or I can write about it on Medium.
Understanding - A New Antivirus
Self understanding acts the same way an anti-virus works on a piece of software. But unlike an antivirus, that deletes the malware from the operating system, the understanding of an emotional pattern divest that pattern of much of its power. Next time that pattern repeats itself we can let the pattern run its course without associating with it and acting on it. And that I believe is the beginning of freewill.